A farmer buys a new young rooster, and hilarity ensues.

Once upon a time, a farmer at a little farm tucked away in the countryside felt it was time to introduce a fresh, young rooster to his hen flock. He’d heard that a young rooster would infuse the coop with life and vigor and guarantee a productive egg-laying season.

The farmer set out to acquire the new addition to his land, full of expectation.

When the young rooster arrived at the farm, he was full of energy and activity and quickly made himself known. He wasted no time in wooing the hens as soon as he entered the coop.

All 150 of the farmer’s hens were won over by the young rooster with his flurry of feathers and loud clucks. When the farmer saw this amazing achievement, he couldn’t help but be impressed.

The young rooster’s zeal didn’t seem to be fading as the day went on. He started a second round of romance at lunchtime and again captivated all 150 hens. Though impressed at first, the farmer was now beginning to worry about the rooster’s voracious appetite for affection.

The amazing realization dawned on me the next morning. The rooster did not stop his romantic adventures with the hens; he also showed his feelings for the ducks, turkeys, and, much to the farmer’s dismay, even the cow. The farmer, who had been impressed earlier, was now in a state of bewilderment, wondering if he had brought a farmyard Casanova or a rooster home.

When the farmer looked out into the barnyard later that day, he saw something that made his skin crawl. With his eyes closed and body as limp as a rag, the young rooster lay spread out on the ground, as vultures circled menacingly overhead. The farmer saw the dead rooster and hurried outside, feeling a wave of shock and grief.

The farmer was so distraught and frustrated at that moment that he had to reprimand. “You deserved it, you h**rny bastard!” he said, sounding oddly sorrowful and angry at the same time.

To the farmer’s surprise, though, the young rooster summoned the strength to reply, one eye half open. He made a weak wing motion to indicate the vultures who were circling above him and mumbled, “Shhhh! They will soon touch down.”

Ultimately, the young rooster’s daring adventures created a legacy on the farm that would endure for many generations—a story of tenacity and passion that would be laughed at and acknowledged with a knowing nod each time farmers got together to share their own anecdotes.

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